Cornfields, Cows, and a Comedy of Errors.
Day 7 – Cotswolds Trail – Painswick to Middleyard – 18km.
Well, it was bound to happen. No adventure is complete without a little “whoops, where am I?” moment, right?
After six days of confidently strolling through the Cotswolds, declaring, “This trail is so well-marked, I don’t even need my notes!”—today, the universe decided to humble me.
Halfway through the walk, the trusty signposts I had come to rely on simply… vanished. Poof! Gone.
And, of course, my notes—so carefully written—weren’t exactly helpful. Murphy’s Law at its finest!
To make things even more interesting, today was also the hottest day so far. No more cool, shady woodlands—just endless open fields under the full force of the sun.
Perfect timing, as always.
The morning had actually started beautifully. The first stretch was so peaceful, I slipped into a meditative state, practically floating through 5km without realizing it. But then… enter the fields. And the missing signs.
According to my notes, I simply had to “cross the field diagonally on the well-trodden path.”
Sounds foolproof, right? Well, not when there are three well-trodden paths leading in three different directions!
Naturally, I picked one and hoped for the best. Spoiler: it was not the best.
At the other end of the field, I found nothing but locked gates and the sinking realization that I was officially lost.
The problem with being lost isn’t that you don’t know where you’re going—it’s that you don’t know where you are.
Enter my knight in shining armor: Google Maps.
I prayed for a signal—take that, Murphy!—and miraculously, I got one. A quick detour would get me back on track… with one small catch. It was straight up a hill. Of course.
No big deal, I thought. Once I rejoined the trail, it would be a short walk to my next stop.
Except… that’s when the cornfields appeared. My notes had been written before the corn was planted, and now, I was surrounded by towering stalks with no signposts in sight.
So, I did the logical thing—I marched straight ahead and hoped for the best. Spoiler: again, not the best.
I emerged onto a deserted country road that probably sees six cars a year. At this point, embarrassment had left the chat, so I pulled up Google Maps once more. Guess what? The way out was—you guessed it—up another hill.
Determined not to be defeated by a trail (or my own poor sense of direction), I climbed yet another hill, reconnected with the path, and descended into a peaceful meadow.
Victory! Or so I thought… until I reached the gate at the bottom.
Blocking my way? A herd of cows. And not the polite, step-aside kind. No, these were the we’re-not-moving-for-you-or-anyone kind. I tried everything—clapping, waving, channeling my inner cow whisperer—nothing. They weren’t impressed.
With no other choice, I carefully squeezed through the gate and did a quick, totally casual power-walk through their midst, praying they wouldn’t suddenly decide I was worth chasing. They didn’t.
But the fun wasn’t over yet—because on the other side, there were four more “well-trodden paths.”
By this point, I surrendered all decision-making to Google and followed its lead.
Eventually, I hit a proper road, wiped out and desperate for a sign—any sign—that I was near my destination.
I called my B&B, hesitating between heading up or down the road, when the kindest words came through the phone:
“Stay right there. I’ll come pick you up.” An actual angel in human form.
Now, freshly showered and waiting for food (since there’s nothing else around here), I’m officially done for the day.
But hey, what’s an adventure without a few unexpected detours?
See you tomorrow for more trails, tales, and probably… more hills.
